


Notions of Flesh and Blood

by jesterlady



Category: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Genre: Character Study, Episode Related, Friendship, Gen, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, One Shot, Robots, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 19:02:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cameron ponders the concept of friendship through the lens of Eric.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Notions of Flesh and Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own TSCC. The title is by John Bunyan.

Cameron doesn't sleep. In many ways this is a good thing. It allows her to maximize her time to the most efficiency. But sometimes it makes it hard to maintain her cover. It is very important she maintains her cover or she could fail in her mission to protect John. So Cameron becomes very good at hiding her lack of sleep. But she does not give up using that time to do the best job she can.

Her primary duty is to make sure that all matters of security are taken care of. She checks on all of the weapons even though Sarah, Derek, and John all take almost as much precaution as she does. She still cannot allow faulty tools to remain where they could be a threat to John. So she checks the weapons and she patrols the house. Casey is always asleep by 11:52 pm and the further she goes in her pregnancy the faster she falls asleep.

Cameron must study and be aware if she is to succeed in her mission. It is very important that she can pass as a human and that she can ascertain any new threats. She never fails to watch the evening news or read the morning paper. She also has a subscription to several tabloids. When John laughs at her she informs him calmly that it is the most likely place for so-called weird stuff that could be terminators to show up. He cannot argue with this.

Cameron has networked. This is a good way of gaining information with the least amount of effort. She has informants even if they would not call themselves such. She spends most nights with Eric who is very helpful and knowledgeable. Eric is not a threat, but she still does not tell John about him. John has too much information in his head and his brain is not equipped to process it all. Eric is Cameron's friend.

Cameron does not understand friendship. She does not understand Eric. She can recall the exact definition of the word from the dictionary if need be, but that does not help with computation. Since this does not relate directly to her mission, Cameron has set the problem up under a secondary subroutine. It is generally only accessed when she is with Eric.

The first time Eric allows her to enter the building in the off-hours, she brings him leftover spaghetti. It is what Sarah had made for dinner and while Cameron does not eat regularly she can tell the food is sub-par. Eric says it is, too, but thanks her for it. The next time she brings donuts and carefully observes his choices. Then she always brings his favorites. This is a good way to keep on Eric's good side as John would say. Incapacitating Eric and having the building be free would be the optimal choice, but she knows that they would simply hire someone else and that she could not do that multiple times without raising suspicion. Suspicion is not good.

Eric looks at her sometimes with suspicion in his eyes. She makes a program to watch this behavior but Cameron is an infiltrator and she is capable of fooling humans. So she fools Eric. She tells him stories, it's her cover, about her family and why she is there. Eric does not ask as many questions as it would be sensible to ask. One night she starts to ask him if he is simple in the head, but then remembers it is not polite to ask people questions like that. Upon further reflection, she decides that it is actually smarter not to ask questions when a problem is noticed. That would make you appear less of a threat and non-threats do not get terminated.

Eric grows weaker the longer she knows him. When Cameron scans him she sees several alarming medical flags. On the night when she discovers Myron Stark she carries Eric to the top floor and her previous scans are confirmed. Cameron searches for the appropriate human response. Eric is practice. Eric is her friend.

Eric does not want to die. She knows this because he would not commit suicide. It is highly probably that Eric will die unless he is able to treat his cancer. Her priority is Myron Stark. She does not know what significance the man Stark will kill has, but she knows that if it benefits Skynet's designs then it is a threat to John Connor. She cannot allow threats to John. Her mission is to protect him.

After Stark is neutralized Cameron returns to Eric. He still has not eaten his donuts. This is not a good sign. Cameron makes the decision to tell Eric about his diseased body. It is the human thing to do. Her delivery is not human, but she is not human, and she is still learning. Eric is not happy to receive the news. Cameron does not understand and Eric does not explain except to tell her she is wrong. Eric tells her to leave and Cameron does not want to. Cameron leaves anyway.

The next night Eric is not there and Amanda lets her in. Cameron wonders if Eric is not there because he has decided to get treatment. Then she wonders if perhaps he has, after all, decided to kill himself. He did not have all the facts before when he said he would not. But Amanda likes donuts and Cameron is only there to research. Humans are different from each other, but the only humans Cameron needs to understand are at home.

Amanda is different from Eric. This makes sense. But Eric was different in a way that suited Cameron's needs better. Amanda asks too many questions and always wants to know exactly what Cameron is researching. Cameron cannot tell her the truth and though John did not say so expressly since he is unaware of the situation, she knows it would not be the smart thing to kill Amanda. When Cameron asks again she learns that Amanda still does not know if Eric will be back, but that Amanda will be doing the night shift for the rest of the year. Cameron does not like this, but she does not think it important to know why. The mission is more important.

One day she is studying at home with John and John has more evidence of being with Riley on his neck. Cameron does not understand the human fascination with the neck and John will not explain. John avoids such topics with her at all costs and Cameron believes she knows why. It is not relevant to the mission, so she does not push the topic. She continues to warn him against spending time with Riley. Riley is not a good friend for John. Riley distracts from the mission.

But Riley is not there and Cameron can study how John is doing. Once she has ascertained that there does not seem to be any urgent problem she will need to deal with on John's behalf she asks her question.

“Would you like to be told you have cancer?”

John's head moves very fast as he looks at her and she can see that he is confused.

“What?”

“If you had cancer would you want to be told?”

“Why do you need to know?” 

John's tone is guarded and she can tell he is suspicious of her motives.

“I am trying to understand humans.”

“Does this have anything to do with my mother?”

“No, this has nothing to do with your mother.”

John's body relaxes and Cameron attempts to look soothing. She knows she has succeeded when John gives her another look.

“Then what does it have to do with?”

“My friend has cancer.”

“You have a friend?”

“I am not sure. He has cancer.”

“And you told him he did...”

“Yes. I scanned him. He has had it before.”

“And it had gone into remission?”

“Yes. It is back now.”

John rubs his forehead with his hand.

“Jeez, Cameron, you can't just tell people things like that.”

“Why?”

“Because everybody's different. Not everybody wants to know what's coming.”

“But he could die. Isn't sustained human life the most preferable outcome of any situation?”

“This isn't you causing human life to expire, Cameron; this is about your complete and utter lack of tact. How do you even know this guy anyway? I don't know why anyone would call you friend.”

“That is not a nice thing to say,” she says and cocks her head.

“It's the truth,” he mumbles.

“But I told the truth to Eric.”

“Touche,” John says and rolls his eyes. “The difference is I know you, Cameron. We're...closer. We know the truth about each other already. And it wasn't a little thing that you told him. It was his life.”

“Big things are important,” Cameron states.

“Yeah. When you're giving news like that, you have to have the right to give it. You have to have been asked for your opinion or you have to be a good friend and know how to say it the right way.”

“I see. Thank you for explaining.” Cameron goes back to her homework. John does not. Approximately five minutes and thirty-two seconds later she looks at him again. He is studying her. “Is there a problem, John?” she asks.

“You have friends?” he says as if it is a foreign concept to him. 

It most likely is.

“One. Eric. He is in a wheelchair.”

“Hell, Cameron,” he says and sits back in his chair. “Other than that what do you even know about this guy?”

“He likes donuts.”

“Donuts?”

“Yes, I bring him donuts.”

John opens his mouth again, but an alert goes off in Cameron's CPU.

“It is time to patrol,” she says and stands up, leaving John.

“This isn't over,” he says after her.

Cameron curves her mouth upward. That is more how John should sound and he has helped her to understand.

Later that night Cameron breaks into the employee records and finds Eric's home address. It says that Eric is no longer employed there. She goes to his house but it is late and everyone is sleeping. The next day she calls the home phone number but the man who answers is not Eric and says he does not know Eric. Cameron thinks he is lying. That night she looks up the ownership on Eric's house. It has been recently sold. Eric has moved. Cameron cannot spend any more time on Eric. He is not her mission.

After that point Cameron thinks about Eric exactly eight times. Four of these occasions are when she is recalling data about something she has researched. Eric was involved in those matters. Two times Cameron is in a donut shop, getting donuts for John. Her gaze moves over a cinnamon twist and the image matches with what is stored inside the file she keeps on Eric. Perhaps one day she will not need the file anymore. She has to keep her memory organized so that there is always room for new data. But she does not delete the file.

Another time she is undercover doing surveillance. Her target becomes suspicious and so Cameron stops to peruse a rack of postcards. Ninety five percent of her attention is still on her target, but her model is very good at multi-tasking. She sees a postcard that reads: _Wish You Were Here, Friend_. Eric had been her friend. Cameron reroutes a small portion of her memory into running the program she had set up for Eric. She still does not understand exactly what happened the night she told him of his cancer. She still wishes to know.

The last time Cameron thinks of Eric she is in a doctor's office, stealing files for Sarah. Sarah is still worried about contracting cancer. Cameron cannot tell her for certain if it will happen or not. This is not good enough for Sarah. Sarah has gone to several oncologists and Cameron extracts the files after Sarah has gone so as to avoid detection. While Cameron is going through the files to find Sarah's, she comes upon a file with Eric's name on it. She reads it and sees he did get treatment. He had moved away and then moved back. This doctor is the last Eric had seen. Eric is dead.

Cameron memorizes the file and moves on. She finds Sarah's and takes it, making sure there are no back up copies. She logs on to the computer and deletes the files. She finds no copies there either. Cameron's task is complete. She returns home and gives the files to Sarah who burns them. Cameron goes upstairs. John's door is open and Cameron enters his room. John is listening to music. He sits up and pulls his headphones down. 

“What is it?” he asks.

He does not sound like he wants to talk.

“My friend is dead,” she says and turns to walk away.

“Wait a minute, hold up.”

John gets off the bed and walks over to her.

“Yes?” she asks.

“What are you talking about?”

“I told you. I had a friend. He had cancer and now he is dead.”

John's face looks conflicted. Cameron is more adept than most terminators at reading human emotion. She has studied John frequently. John does not know what to say.

“I-I'm sorry,” he offers. 

Cameron smiles.

“It's okay, John.” 

She turns to leave again.

“Wait,” he tells her, putting his hand on her arm. 

John knows this will not stop her, but he does it anyway. This is because John is human.

Cameron does not attempt to leave again. It is obvious that John wishes to talk to her.

“I know you're not exactly upset,” John says awkwardly and sits back down on the bed. “But it's clear you wanted me to know for some reason.”

Cameron sits next to him.

“Eric and I had unfinished business.”

“Like what?”

“I made him angry. I did not say I was sorry and he did not forgive me. Since Eric is dead we can never make up.”

“Why would that even matter to you?”

John looks angry.

“It doesn't. But that is not how friendship works.”

“For humans maybe,” he said.

“Eric was human.”

“He didn't know you were a machine.”

“Yes, he didn't know. He died with unfinished business.”

“Cameron...” John says and stops speaking for one minute and three seconds “...we'll work on your friendship skills.”

“Like how Riley was your friend?” she asks.

John stiffens.

“Like...like Riley,” he says slowly and looks at her face. 

His eyes dart down to her lips but he does not move. Cameron thinks this is wise of him.

“Will you go visit his grave with me?” she asks and stands up.

“Grave?”

“Eric's grave. I must pay my respects.”

He shakes his head and then nods. Cameron does not know if that means he is saying no and then saying yes or if he just does not understand.

“You will go?”

“Yeah.”

The next day John and Cameron drive to the cemetery where Eric is buried. Cameron asks John to stop and let her buy flowers. Putting flowers on a grave is the human thing to do. He complies and afterward they pull up to the cemetery. Cameron is dressed in black today. Black is the appropriate color for death.

They stand in front of Eric's grave and Cameron puts the flowers down. There is another bouquet there and Cameron thinks it must be from his family. It is good to know Eric's family visits his grave. They are silent for five minutes and fifty-two seconds.

“Do you want to say anything?” John asks finally.

“What am I supposed to say?” she asks.

John shrugs.

“Goodbye. That you'll miss him. That you're sorry you never got to make up. That you hope he's at peace.”

“I do not know if any of those things would be true,” she says.

“Then why are we here?” he asks impatiently.

“Because it is the right thing to do,” she says. 

“You don't have to say anything,” he says after a minute and two seconds.

“Thank you,” she says.

They are silent again for forty seconds.

“Eric, I am sorry for upsetting you,” she says. “I hope you are at peace. You were a good friend.”

Cameron reaches over and takes John's hand. He starts when she touches him, but he closes his fingers around hers and they stand by the grave holding hands. Cameron knows it is normal to need comfort at a grave. It is the human thing to do and it is necessary to her mission to be as human as possible. Her mission is to protect John and not to have friends. It would be preferable for Eric to be alive, but it is not possible and not necessary to her mission. Eric was a good friend but John is a better one and John is her mission.


End file.
